Alas, I received a comment asking me to please not date cops, as they are all power-hungry jerks who enter their professions to place themselves above the law. This comment prompted me to think about sweeping generalizations about people�s professions and what conclusions I could draw about those folks.

The President of the United States.

Anyone who thinks he or she can be the leader of the free world has got to have quite the ego.

Manage a gazillion dollar budget? Build safe roads safer? Regulate every single industry? Help the needy? Set policies on everything under the sun?

Not only are you responsible for all of that in our country, you have a big hand in how many other countries also run their business too.

With that sort of responsibility, you can�t tell me that any sane person would ever want to take that on.

(2) Any politician, for that matter.

This is similar to the president but scaled down with a bit of a superiority complex to it since control of local municipalities make the figure rather well known yet in an actually-known kinda way.

Fake do-gooders with fake tans, fake marriages, and fake ideals that he or she knows what�s best for his or her people.

Correction: The people he or she represents.

See? That�s my problem.

Okay. After all that about politicians, just lump company executives in there for the same reasons, and then move along to...

(3) Assistants to company executives.

I generally think of the overweight 40-something woman with a bun and a bad suit who gets pleasure out of mommy-ing a company�s highest higher-ups, but I know that men get this position too. Instead of mommy-ing, I could see the guys get this kick out of being the puppeteer behind the big guy.

When your big boss can�t figure out the Outlook calendar, that�s a free license to do whatever you want because the big-shot truly depends on you. It�s also manipulative to feed into that dependence as a means to job security.

(4) Fashion designers.

Oh the power these people have! Remember two years ago when everyone wore a fake flower on their shirts and jackets? Whose sick, twisted joke was that?!

Let�s pin on this stupid adornment, call it fashion, and see how many women we can get to wear this crap!

Too much power for such an everyday nothing. I don�t like it.

(5) Doctors.

Can you say God Complex?

You can�t really tell me that people spend a hundred thousand dollars and years and years on school, only because they want to help people.

Bah humbug!

They do it for bragging rights.

I save lives.

And in turn, people treat them like their butts don�t smell.

Perhaps I�ve just seen lots of self-serving, arrogant pricks who think that I should worship them because they sat through the classes, paid their dues, and spend their days treating colds and sprained ankles.

Runners Up

Actors. These people pretend to be other people for a living. How nutso is that?

Research scientists. Really, how can I compare with curing cancer?

Teachers. Are you really the person to create tomorrow�s future?

Lawyers. Duh.

So why would a woman want to hang out with a cop?

Maybe it�s because stories of getting bitten by a crackhead, chasing folks up the stairs in the projects, and how every drug dealer makes the same exclamation when he knows he�s busted are a lot more interesting than talking about cube farms, how much Windows XP stinks, and Internet radio stations.

Cops are also pretty handy. So long as they aren�t the old, out-of-shape ones, they can run fast, street fight, shoot a gun, and ride motorcycles. And they know everyone and everything going on.

And when you�re not looking for anything more than a few beers, a pretty face, and someone to entertain you as much as you entertain them, I�ll gladly hear about getting bitten by a crackhead any day.�