Wouldn't you friggin' know it?! After all the trash talk heaped with the encouragement...

It's probably best this way. In a mere 22 days we'll be trapped in a car together for 5 hours. I'm pretty sure he'd take the tire iron on me (or me to him) if the winner chanted, "I'm the workout champ! You're the workout chimp!" for longer than three minutes.

Today starts the second round of the contest. The same rules apply (1 workout = a minimum of 30 minutes, multiple workouts each day are okay), but the count starts over.

He�ll already have one day up on me, as my calves are so sore from two nights ago that I�m certainly not climbing on a treadmill for a couple days. At 8:55 I didn�t think I was going to make it to work, and I only have to cross a few streets to get there. And fifteen minutes before that, when I finally pried myself from bed to get to work by 9:00, I didn�t think I was even going to make it into the bathroom.

Speaking of bathroom, I�ve really gotten into drinking hot tea lately. I had a kick of it a few years back with the flavored teas, but I now much prefer the plain ol� tea bags with warm water. It�s nothing fancy, but I drink several glasses a day, alternating them with glasses of water.

Do you know what that does to your bladder?? Even my shy bladder has to let whatever issue it�s got go when I step into a full bathroom. There�s really no stopping it.

Something completely unrelated: It appears that more than one person took my entry two days ago as a passive aggressive jab at an ex who at one time in the recent past read my site.

Actually, as I said, they were questions from someone I used to hang out with pretty often. He wanted to know what I wrote about our previous escapades, and he wanted to learn some blog etiquette since his new girlfriend has a private one and he �stumbled� across it.

I found a most-excellent link on onewetleg�s page that details a blogger�s disclaimer. It tells it a lot better than I did, in a lot more detail.

As for my exes, they�re top-notch as far as exes go.

They call or email once every three to six months with an �Are you alive?� message. I rely, �Yes, and you?� I receive a response of �Me too.� �Good.� �Good.� �See ya around.� �Yep.�

Otherwise, they thankfully leave me completely alone.

The one who was reading each morning was reading a non-private, open webpage -- and did it with my knowledge after he left a quick hello in the guestbook.

I don�t routinely wax poetically on my affections for he who takes up my Saturday afternoon through Sunday evenings. I don�t write any personal information that will make your heart wrench in sympathy for any situation I encounter. And I don�t divulge anything that isn�t for public use or knowledge.

You�ve seen my picture. You know my last name.

Unless I actually know you, you don�t know where I live, work, who my friends are, or where I shop, eat, exercise, drink, or hang out. You know a superficial layer of my life -- The end.

I know this. You know this. They guy I hadn�t even gotten an �Are you alive?� message from since last March knew this.

If I cared who read, I�d password the site to police my hits. I�d request that my site be removed from the search engines. I�d delete the damn entries and never post another entry again.

No passive aggressive message here. We cool everyone?

(And for the record, to answer the person who wrote a guestbook entry poking fun at me answering questions from another reader, you really should have the burning pee thing checked out... Har, har.)

I just got word from Benito that he indeed didn�t go workout last night, making me the undisputed winner of the workout contest.

I'm the workout champ! You're the workout chimp!

I�m the workout winner! You�re the workout wiener!

Chimp, wiener! Chimp, wiener! Chimp, wiener!

I�m done with the gloating, really. No more chimp or wiener business, I swear.

And with that, I�m outta here!

Links:

Combat drunk dialing: Story here.

I got this email today from a coworker with a wife and three kids:

Hi ive sent 5 emails now and nobody will rate my pic!! :( please download and tell me what you think out of 10 , dont worry if you dont like it just say i wont be offended p.s i was drunk when it was taken :P

Have no fear. It was just a new virus and not him being exceptionally inappropriately wacky. �