Hey -- Without a computer, I had a lot of time to sit. [shrug]

I�ll start by giving you the catch-up entry, and I�ll add more tidbits throughout the week until I�m all caught up. Seeing that I�ll have my best friend in the whole wide world here tomorrow, will be hitting up the All State Arena for MONSTER TRUCKS with some girlfriends that night, have a date on Saturday night, and am throwing a super-fantastic baby shower for the best friend anyone could ever ask for on Sunday afternoon, you may just get a bunch of entries early next week. Keep an eye at the bottom of the page for ease of navigation.

So here ya go. I�ll just start from the beginning.

FRIDAY: Out the with Girls

We started the night off at my favorite bar. It�s a nice place with plenty of booths, Blue Moon on tap, and not so much noise that it inhibits conversation. The table ended up pairing off, and Happy and I had inappropriate conversation that involved the phrase �mashing privates� among other such hilarities.

Afterwards we cabbed it to Wrigleyville to dance at this untz-untz that we thought would have good music. The DJ was a choptard and the ladies were on the prowl, so I ended up talking with this group of guys at a bachelor party.

The poor groom-to-be was all embarrassed at the items on his checklist, so I allowed him a safe opportunity to get as many checked off as possible.

It was all harmless, and I drew the line on anything physical. No face in my tits, thankyouverymuch. Those aren�t for just anyone...

The night drew to and end, and I made it home at a semi-decent hour.

SATURDAY: Hung over, Out with Benito

Despite having only three beers the night before, I woke up unpleasantly dehydrated. Unfortunately I got caught in a cycle too: too dehydrated to get up for water therefore even more dehydrated than before therefore even less likely to get up therefore feeling worse...

Eventually I made it out and about for some thrift shopping. The girls gave me a call from Boystown, requesting my presence. I glanced at my watch. 6:30. Meeting Benito at 8... Could I?

One key lime pie martini later, I zoomed home, slapped on some lipstick, and ran down to meet the lovely Benito.

We had great big sammiches from this restaurant in Wicker Park and then went out for more martinis. I ordered a Dreamsicle, assuming it would be like my Dreamsicle blender drink. WRONG. This was made with orange and vanilla-flavored vodkas instead of my usual vanilla vodka and wussy triple sec. I nursed that one all night, but we still ended out night well before midnight.

SUNDAY: Sleep, Sleep, Sleep

I slept in until 11:30.

Then I took a nap from 3 until 7:30.

I couldn�t get to sleep when it was bedtime.

Imagine that.

MONDAY: Worked, Worked Out

Such an exciting life I live.

TUESDAY: Worked, Worked Out

Yes, it�s gripping.

Actually I filled in on Happy�s volleyball team. Well, I�ll never do that again... They were horrible! I, however, had my usual amazing serve and even managed a couple great spikes when the unheard of happened: the team set up a bump-set-spike sequence!

Afterwards we hit up a bar where I just happily ate tater tots with the perfect mixture of ketchup and mustard, realizing it was too loud for conversation and that I had no interest whatsoever in the 20-cent wings special. I left early, making it home at a decent hour for some fabulous sleep.

WEDNESDAY: Worked, Didn�t Work Out

I got a great surprise! Not only did my best friend in the whole world send me a copy of MS Office 2000 and Photoshop 5.0, she also included a mix CD.

I�m totally digging The La�s singing There She Goes, and I can�t wait to hear Lisa Loeb covering

Dreams. Oh yes. Let�s not overlook the Chris Issak on track nine and the double-hit of the amazing Fiona Apple (I want to have her children...) there at the end!

Right now I�m on track 5 (Mazzy Star covering Wild Horses), so I don�t have to wait much longer.

THURSDAY: Crappy Work, Kitty Petting, and Produce Buying

Work. Was. Shit.

I can�t remember a worse workday in a long time. It really sucked monkey balls and goat asses in a weird hermaphroditic, cross-species, dirty-as-hell way.

However, to make up for all of the crap, I had a special event lined up that will occupy each Thursday night of mine from here on out. I�m now volunteering as a kitty-petter for this local no-kill animal shelter. They showed me where the food was kept, where the litter was stored, and where the first aid kit was if I ever encountered a nasty scratch. Then I was basically left alone with fifty kitties to love all over. There were purrs and head-butts and lots of scratches on that spot at the bottom of the back that makes one raise their tail-end... And that was just what I received.

Har har.

[As a side note, allow me to add that Hambone is way prettier than most of the kitty population. As for Ming... well... she�s a lot softer than the rest of the kitties.]

And if petting a bunch of really happy kitties wasn�t enough of a nice way to end what was a crappy day, the walk home certainly made up for it too. On Elston and North Avenue there�s a produce store called Stanley�s that always has crazy sale posters in their windows. I managed to walk home with a backpack full of goodies and the best orange juice ever for only $4.60.

It looks like I�ve found something to do each time I walk back to the el from the kitty shelter.

So there. Now you�re all caught up. This lapse won�t likely happen for a while. The uncooperative writer�s block has ended, and you will once again be graced by the diarrhea of my fingers.

Good night, all.�