CCCC |
T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o |
� |
first entry� �� profile� �� email� �� guestbook� �� rings� �� older entries |
� |
Who Wants to be my Beneficiary? |
2003-04-14� �� 6:09 p.m. |
� |
Today while trying to do my taxes, I came across the will I typed up this time last year when I was flying to Chicago for a wonderful weekend away from the crap I was then calling my life.
I must say that I�m generally not this pessimistic, but I wanted to ensure that all would be easily taken care of should my plane go down in flames. After all, I had just become a mother to a wonderful cat named Hambone Coniferous. Also, at this time I was signing up for my Roth IRA and my work 401k. And who wants the government to decide who gets my yard gnomes and the Linux blanket I stole fair and square from Matt? (Yes Matt, Hambone really does prefer it to all of the other blankets...) So I looked things over on my make-shift legal document: I�m of legal age and sound mind to make a will, Matt gets all of my crap if he cleans out the apartment, a list of my accounts, a list of my debts (oops -- there go the accounts!), a list of my credit cards, and some instructions of what to do with me. I need to update a few of these accounts and whatnot, but there are some new additions to make in the last section that I�d like to share. Plain and simple: donate me to a medical school. Let them decide what to do with my mess. I love science, and I think this would be the best use of what I�m no longer using. If you insist on having a funeral of sorts, don�t put me in a box at the front of the room. That�s just spooky. Have some beer, eat some vegetarian snick-snacks, and talk about the stupid shit I�ve done. There�s only one request that I make: I want a sign displayed at this funeral. Have it read, �Joanna always wanted to go to med school.� Okay, now... Onto the fun stuff! I am having an essay contest to see who wants to be my beneficiary. Send all applications here. The contest ends on 06/01/2003. I�ll announce the results then. Yes, this is a contest to see who loves me the most. And if I die before then, you're all shit outta luck.�
|
Moving Day - 2008-02-15
|