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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Signs of Getting Older

2006-10-09† Ė† 4:16 p.m.
You order top-shelf alcohol because you have the extra $2 per drink.

$10 extra to avoid the hangover and to not have your drink taste like moonshine is well worth it.

You have dinner on a Friday night with friends, and isnít followed up with anything because youíre all ready for bed.

Weíre definitely not staying out until 4 a.m. anymore. With midnight being the latest, we usually bugger out early, citing that we need to go to the gym the early the next day, go grocery shopping before the crowds, or donít want to be late for brunch.

You enter a bar and promptly leave when you see that the other patrons are dancing on the bar and doing shots.

I left two bars this weekend. The first was crawling with college kids on the prowl. The second was quieter. But when the bartenderís friends came in and started talking about what hotties they were scoping out, we had to bail.

The evening was spent at a Mexican restaurant with appetizers and margaritas with top-shelf tequila (of course), and I was on the train before midnight.

You enjoy seeing cover bands or going to piano bars.

Yes, itís true. When you see a band or go to a bar so you know all of the words, youíre officially getting older.

I think of my dad and how he resists change, and Iím slowly making my way there. I donít want to discover new music! I already know plenty, and I already know that I like it.

Oh, but I should try something new! Branch out and experience it!

Donít push it. I tried sushi three years ago, and thatís quite enough change for me for a while.

Your friends are getting remarried.

My friends have had not only time to get married and reproduce, theyíve also found time to get married, reproduce, get divorced, and then get married to someone else.

This baffles the hell out of me, as Iíve yet to find someone I want to spend more than a few hours with lately.

You go to a concert and think, ďGee, this is a serious fire hazard.Ē

Two seasons back I got floor seats for me and a friend to see a concert. When the main show took the stage, people left their seats and started dancing in the aisles. I kid you not, the thought of fire hazards did cross my mind.

When did I become such a fuddy-duddy?

You watch Nick at Nite, and the shows being played are ones from your childhood.

Back when my family first got cable, we watched shows from when my parents grew up: Mister Ed, My Three Sons, Lassie. This was understood. After all, my parents were certainly *old* when I was 8.

*GULP*

My parents were a whopping 30 years old back then.

Father Knows Best gave way to the Mary Tyler Moore Show, which gave way to The Cosby Show, which now has The Fresh Prince of Bellaire playing.

I can sing all of the words to that intro song. I used to giggle about Jazz being tossed from the house. I always loved Hillaryís super-hip clothes and hair.

Why oh why oh why is this on Nick at Nite?!

Your first dates are now at wine bars instead of a couple beers at the local hangout.

Keep your fingers crossed tomorrow night. I think I landed one who isnít a dud.

Enjoy your Monday night. Itís certainly gotta be better than your Monday day! †



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