The truth is that I don�t feel so bad. I�d argue that I wasn�t even actually sick, but the cough has become exhausting. I hack to the point that I�m grasping my chest, hunched over from the pain. At least my abs are getting a workout from my forced air and germ expulsions.

I wake up with a slightly sore throat, but it�s gone by time I brush my teeth. And when I cough, nothing comes up. I think this is just pseudo-sickness, but the cough forced me to chug some liquid butthole-tasting meds.

So really, why must the medicines taste so bad? I understand its nasty coating helps protect the throat from ongoing coughing fits, but can�t it come in some other flavor besides Ass Wipe Cherry? There�s only one thing I dislike more than artificial cherry: artificial coconut.

Back in the first grade I had a bad bout of bronchitis that required -- yup, you guessed it -- liquid medicine. This coconut-flavored goo was the worst thing I had ever tasted. It was so bad that Maa mixed the supplemental cherry flavored stuff with it to help it go down. Taking my daily medicine took more effort than climbing Mount Everest in my little first grade world, but there was nothing worse than the day we ran out of cherry flavored stuff and I had to take the coconut liquid alone. To this day I cannot drink Parrot Bay.

[On a side note, check out this article, �Making Medicine Easier to Swallow�.]

Besides the drowsiness and the taste, I�ve got another problem with the Dayquil. Because it�s such a super-dee-dooper medicine with all sorts of fixer-uppers, I�m breathing *too* well. There�s so much air whooshing up my nostrils and hitting my brain, I have something akin to an ice cream headache. If you�ve ever worn a Breathe Right and not needed it, you�ll know what I mean.

Mickey-fickey work calls, so I must now answer. �