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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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ChicagoJo Battles the IT Department Idiot

2004-03-05� � 12:56 p.m.
This morning I was asked to change my system password, so I dutifully logged in and typed in something stupid about my cats that matched the company�s stringent security guidelines.

When I got up to go pee a few hours later, I locked Windows down so no one could mess with my shit while I was away. I don�t know why anyone would want to read this drivel before it gets posted online, but I do as I�m told so I get to keep being bothered every 60 days to change my password and not-so-bothered every Thursday when another fat check gets deposited into my account.

I got back from the bathroom, and I entered my usual password into the screen. I entered it again. No dice. Knowing that I�ll be locked out on my next try, I very carefully typed my password into the prompt. Rejection again. Only this time instead of a Please Try Again message, I got a Contact Your System Administrator message.

Calling the IT department here is rather annoying. Working for such a large company, they have a Press One if You Want to... phone lines. I�m waiting for the If You�re an Idiot and Locked Yourself Out Because You Forgot that You Changed Your Password option, when I just start hitting 0.

Usually hitting 0 gets me what I want. I get to talk to an IT generalist who laughs at me, provides a scoop of gruel, and pats me on my ass on my way out the door. However, there�s one IT guy I cannot stand.

Mike is my enemy.

I don�t make judgments on this sort of thing, but Mike has an honest-to-goodness problem with understanding English. When I encounter this problem, I generally speak very clearly and explain everything I can, spelling it if need be.

However, there�s no helping Mike. He�s a bonafide idiot.

�Hello. Thank you for calling IT. This is Mike. May I get your employee number?�

Oh shit. Mike. I hate Mike. �Yeah, I don�t have an employee number because I�m a contractor. My last name is Jo. That�s Jay-Oh. Jo.�

�Hmmm... I�m not finding you in the system.�

Of course you�re not Mike. Even though I spelled it out, you�re misspelling my last name like you always do. �There�s nothing under Jay-Oh, Mike? �

�Ohhhhh! I spelled it Jay-Oh-Oh! Let me try again!�

[typing and then silence]

�Ms. Jo, I�m not finding anything.�

�Mike, that�s Jay-Oh, right?�

�Ohhhhh! I spelled it Jay-Oh-Ee! Let me try again!�

[typing and then silence from his side]

�I�m still not finding you.�

[loud banging on my side as I pound my head on my desk, knowing that he�s now trying Jay-Ee-Oh, Jay-Oh-Oh-Oh, and Jay-Oh-Oh again for good measure]

Somehow the pounding my head on the desk reset everything, so I�m good to go. I said I somehow got it to work, didn�t question it, and then hung up quickly.

Damn that Mike. How I hate him!

Let�s hope that I won�t get locked out again. Must remember that I changed my password. Must remember that I changed my password. Must remember that I changed my password.

Happy Friday, all.



Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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