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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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In Need of a Kick

2005-12-19† Ė† 3:46 p.m.
Benito used to say I was a Jo-bot. I know this quality of mine was at the top of his complaints list. But, really... I was proved right. Once I spilled it, he was out the door a mere eight days later.

Someone else said something to me the other day about needing to be more human. Apparently being a hard-ass who doesnít cry at movies or coo at kittens isnít too appealing.

And if more than one person makes a complaint, itís something that needs to be listened to.

I know itís normal to cry at a breakup. I know itís normal to do a bit of obsessing. I know itís normal to want to run to those who you love, looking for support and sympathy.

But truthfully, itís making me crazy. I feel like I should just suck this crap up and move along.

Anytime I wonder about him and if thereís any possibility that heíll wake up and say, ďHoly crap! What the hell am I doing?Ē I want to kick myself in the ass.

Hard.

Itís having delusions like that that are going to make this even worse on me.

And, Christ, itís not like I need this to be any harder than it already is.

Iím truthfully just barely making it.

And itís seriously angering me that Iím being the sort of person who canít self-administer an ass kicking, after 26 years of being able to deliver one when needed.

Iíve been using my head for the past two years. Thinking with my heart isnít going to get me anywhere now.

I really just want it to stop. Just go away. †



Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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