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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Diet Coke and Lay's Regular Potato Chips

2004-02-06� � 4:29 p.m.
Once every four weeks, I�m hit with this intense craving for Diet Coke and Lay�s regular potato chips. I used to ignore this craving, sticking to my regular healthy-for-you foods, telling myself that there was no way that eating so poorly was good for my upcoming delicate state.

I had the worst mood swings at that time, finding myself crying if my then-boyfriend left dishes in the sink from the night before (yeah, like I didn�t do that every night of the week), didn�t take the garbage out on his way to work (that was his chore, after all), or if he spent too much time on the computer when he should have adored me in my bloated state.

Hell, I don�t blame him for retreating to the safety of the second bedroom. I was out-right beastly.

If there was ever anyone who handled PMSJo in the exact way every man should handle their woman during these hours of insanity, it was he. The man deserves a metal for exclaiming, �Oh Princess! Are you feeling grumpy? Why don�t you come here -- no, let me come over there -- so I can give you a squeeze!� as tears rolled down my face.

These were not my better moments, yet he handled them nicely.

After he got his medal revoked for unsportsmanlike conduct, I got off the retched Ortho Tri Cyclen tablets, and all things girlie took an 18-month hiatus. But in the past six months of their return, the cravings have returned.

The first time the familiar pangs returned, I remembered the tears and the hysterics. Seeing that I am an independent woman and have no one littering my house or reminding me that all things will pass in my moments of haziness, I decided on a different approach.

I work out several times a week. I have genetics on my side. I rarely eat poorly anyway. What actual harm would come if I ate the damn chips and drank the damn soda?

From what I�ve found over the past half-year, there have been no harmful side effects to taking in the 30g of fat from the Big Grab and drinking enough caffeine to keep an entire village awake for a bender of a weekend.

On top of satisfying those bothersome cravings, I�ve also found that my mood is quite pleasant. I go on with my binge, taking in whatever I want, and then go about the rest of my cycle.

Nobody gets hurt. No dirty-looks daggers get thrown. No bodies wash up on the shore. Everyone�s ego remains intact. Everyone smiles and lollipops sprout. Everyone�s happy. The end.

So today when the hankering hit, I made a run for Walgreen�s to pick up the typical PMS supplies.

And just for good measure, I threw in a box of cookies too.

Happy Friday all. Be nice to your girlfriends. �



Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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