KINDNESS to ANIMALS

I don�t squish bugs -- not even spiders. I also intentionally walk around ants when I notice them on the sidewalk.

I took in a very injured Hambone to keep him from the cat nip pie in the sky. Now before you go offering me sainthood, do keep in mind that I�d screw that vegan stuff and skin him and eat him if he clawed up my upholstery. Luckily all is good on that front and I don�t have to determine whether to serve him with potatoes or green beans.

I have never kicked a pigeon, no matter how funny it would be and how many people would applaud.

With the exception on Hambone�s food, I purchase no more animal products. I�m wearing my leather items until they tucker out, and I�m using up everything that isn�t specifically marked as not tested on animals.

I don�t eat animals (furniture damage aside) because I don�t think it�s a very nice thing to do.

KINDNESS to PEOPLE and their PROPERTY

I always return emails and phone calls, even if it takes longer than it should.

I give my long, long hair away to make wigs for kids with cancer. (My second 1.5-foot donation is fast approaching, so keep an eye out for details and pictures.)

I can only think of one time that I�ve stolen something. For some reason my sister and I thought it would be funny to steal Halloween pumpkins last year. You�ll be happy to know that those pumpkins rotted faster than any other pumpkins ever, and there was quite a mess that I had to clean up. The retching I did while scooping partially decomposed pumpkin was enough to keep me from stealing anything ever again.

I may not give out money, but I treat street people respectfully and never just ignore them. I�ve become quite friendly with both Larry and Smiley -- two locals in my neighborhood. There�s also this other guy that always looks really, really hungry, so I intentionally take food with me from my house to the el so I can give it to him. He always gets excited when I share with him, and I always want to cry after I see him smile.

I generally remember birthdays and send cards with personalized messages. And if I get you a present, you can bet that I put a lot of thought into it.

I always apologize when it�s necessary. I hate hurting other�s feelings and can fess up when I�ve done something hurtful.

I give great backrubs, advice, and hugs.

KINDNESS to THE ENVIRONMENT

I recycle my plastic grocery bags and reuse the paper ones each week.

I cut down on car emissions by walking, blading, or taking public transportation everywhere.

I buy the hippie toothpaste so my money goes towards an environmentally-friendly company. The next time I buy soaps and other incidentals, I�ll certainly choose products from companies like Paul Penders or Kiss My Face.

I use my old printouts as my scratch paper and to write my friends letters. Whereas this is kind to the environment and a nice way to let my friends know that I�m thinking of them, I�m pretty sure that the legal department has something to say about me using printouts of confidential and proprietary information as my personal stationary.

No courtesy flush. Ever.

I pick up litter on the side of the street if it isn�t too yucky. People who don�t use trash bins really tick me off.

Man, I totally should have made this sort of list while waiting for Santa Claus. I totally would have made out like a bandit... �