It's back to work for me. If I don't finish this document, they'll cut off my fingers.

Yeah, they're rough around here.

100 Questions

1. Are you an innie or an outie? I�m an innie.

2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms? Boot cut pants are the greatest.

3. Have you ever written a song? Yes, it was called Permanent Wave.

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now? Nope. I just spent my quarters on Taco Bell.

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet? I do quite frequently in bars when the line is too long.

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet? Yes, and they smell really, really bad.

7. Do you like catsup on or beside your fries? Put the ketchup beside my fries.

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Yes, I have a long, long tongue.

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout? I�ve been both.

10. Have you ever broken a mirror? Not that I can remember.

11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole? Nope. I saw that movie, and it scared me.

12. What is your biggest pet peeve? People sniffing in their snot.

13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone? I usually don�t finish my drinks completely.

14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk? Yes. In college I used to have contests with my then-friend Andy. He usually won because I started laughing.

15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper? Neither because I don�t eat meat.

16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Yup.

17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic? I have them load up my backpack.

18. Would you rather eat steak or pizza? I�ll take a cheese-less pizza.

19. Did you have a baby blanket? Nope.

20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? Yup. I cut my own bangs many times.

21. Have you ever sleepwalked? I used to sleepwalk to the kitchen when I was younger, thinking it was the bathroom.

22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds? Kindergarten, I think...

23. Can you flip your eye-lids up? I never tried because I think it�s gross.

24. Are you double jointed? I don�t know, but my thumbs can bend over freakily, and my elbow goes at a very odd angle too.

25. If you could be any age, what age would you be? Six. I don�t know. I�m fine with 24.

26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair? Plenty of times.

27. Have you ever thrown-up after a roller coaster ride? Not that I remember.

28. What is your dream car? Lexus SC400.

29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time? I really enjoyed the Smurfs when I was little.

30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child? Yep.

32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit? Nope.

33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first? Crack the window.

34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yup. I got a concussion in the 10th grade during a basketball game.

35. Can you pick something up with your toes? Yup. Those suckers are like fingers. Little, stubby fingers, but fingers nonetheless.

36. How many remote controls do you have in your house? Four, although I only use one.

37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school? I�m pretty sure I have.

38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year? 12 times if you count the ups and downs and connections. I�ve gone to NYC, to Houston, to Houston again, to San Diego, to Dallas, and to Dallas again. I�m all Texas-ed out.

39. How many foreign countries have you visited? I went to the UK a few summers back.

40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal? Not unless it was a wussy marathon.

41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy? I�m happy as I am, thanks.

42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float? The Worst Case Scenario Handbook tells me to float, but only if my attempts to get out didn�t already work.

44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost? Yes, quite frequently.

45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean? Nope.

46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland? Alice.

47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points? I�d like an ant farm. I hate crayons with broken points.

48. Do you prefer light or dark bread? Light but super-enriched.

49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs? No eggs.

50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas? Yes. I�m an idiot.

51. Do you talk in your sleep? Probably. I have no idea.

52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn? Mow the lawn.

53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python? Bitten.

54. Have you ever played in the rain? Yes.

55. Which do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark? An angry bear.

56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten? No.

57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? Nope.

58. Do you drink pepsi or coke? Diet Coke.

59. What�s your favorite number? 8

60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car? Probably a hybrid of the two. I�d be that Porsche SUV.

61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel? I take the little lotions. If I were to steal something from a hotel, it would be that fuzzy blanket between the comforter and the sheets.

62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table? Probably not.

63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub? Yes. I hit my head on the soap dish and knocked it out of the wall. I don�t think my parents ever replaced it.

64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap? Dove.

65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house? Yes.

66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices? I�d love to be a Simpson�s voice.

67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be? Matt Damon because I bet he�d be fun. Also, I think I could seduce him...

68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn? Of course.

69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes? Huge nose, you can always reduce it.

70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didn't like? Depends on why they don�t like them.

71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn't like? Probably.

72. Have you ever returned a gift? Yes.

73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you? Yes. I recycle my cans, so why not recycle my gifts!

74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be? Gymnastics.

75. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 14 if I�m counting correctly.

76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her? No.

77. Do you sing in the car? If I had a car, I�d probably sing occasioanlly. When I had a car I usually rode around with the radio off.

78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey? I�d jump into a dumpster if there was nothing to hurt me.

79. What is your favorite breed of dog? Jack Russell Terriers are my favorite. If I had one, I�d name him Bingo.

80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter? Yes.

81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike? I�d be the bike at the flea market for $15.

82. What is your least favorite fruit? Apples are my least favorite because they�re always in season. There�s nothing like wanting peaches and only being able to get apples.

83. What kind of fruit have you never had? I haven�t ever had a donut peach. (I think they�re also called Saturn peaches.) I�m betting that they taste a lot like regular peaches, and I�m not willing to pay $3.99 per pound for that.

84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick? I�d pick freaking Target.

85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most? I have Adidas shoes, Reebok running pants, Old Navy yoga pants, and non-branded sports bras.

86. Are/were you a good student? Yes, I was.

87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat? Brett.

88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in? I�d be in the Army since they run USAMRIID.

89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane? I�d consider it.

90. What do you think is your best feature? I like my hair and belly.

91. If you were to win a Grammy, what kind of music would it be for? Pop -- I'd be a dancing and singing fool.

92. What is your favorite season? Autumn. No, summer. Spring is nice too.

93. How many members do you have in your immediate family? Six are in my immediate family. I consider my nephew part of the immediate family.

94. Which of the five senses is most important to you? Sight.

95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer? I�d be a successful singer. It�s not that I�m good, but I know there are enough effects to run my voice through to make it work.

97. How many years will/did you end up going to college? I went for four years, two of which were after graduating high school.

98. Have you ever had surgery? Yes, and all I have to say about it is, �OUCH!�

99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player? Football player.

100. What do you like to collect? Sesquicentennial quarters. MP3s. Gnomes. Mirrors. Boyfriends. �