The night ended with me watching the Sydney Olympics I found on video (damn Bob Costas� moving commentary, the Russian gymnast who grew up without a father, the 20-year-old USA diver who got herself into the semi finals with a perfect last dive, and Marion Jones� commentary at her husband�s I-didn�t-use-drugs press conference) and crying to the Hallmark commercial where the new neighbor notices that the old lady across the street is lonely and sends her a Hallmark card to brighten her day where it ends in a warm embrace and a friendship that benefits them both. [tears]

And then I realized how old the lady was and how she�s likely to die and make everyone sad [tears]

So here I am at work today. I�m fully aware that we choose our own actions, so I�m adopting a different outlook. I know I can�t muster my usual chipper optimism, so indifference and surprise it is!

I left the house without a jacket, so instead of turning around to get one or crying (usually it would just be whining) about it, I took the subway instead. I�ve avoided the subway because of my busted knee, but I got a pleasant surprise that there was only a slight pull in the knee connector. (I don�t know what hurts, so that�s what I�m calling the part that makes me say OW!) So, despite my shivering skin and initial annoyed outlook, I got some good news. Yay for me!

Last night I got a phone call with some cancelled plans. However, instead of crying, I am secretly relieved. Those who know and like me do not need to see me during irrational moments. Happy or Lorinda seeing me with a box of Kleenex, some ho-hos, and in my fat pants is one thing. Puffy eyes, a swollen face, and snot are not for those of the opposite sex with whom I wish to smooch. So where's the optimism in fat pants? Oh yes. I have a coldsore. This means that I have an entire week to put some aspirin paste on my lip so the smooching can commence a week later! Yahoo!

And then I was thinking earlier about how much I [gasp!] miss working out (which is likely contributing to my surge or lack of whatever brain squirt it is that keeps things light and breezy in Jo Land), but before I could curse my knee, my lack of scheduling skills, or this crappy on-again-off-again weather, I realized that I was wearing my skinny clothes again. Somehow, despite not working out in three weeks, I�ve lost an inch in my waist and a good amount in my thighs and ass.

This likely has something to do with eating a diet of rice, crackers, and cornbread since I�m trying to use up the contents of my fridge and pantry. So not only has not going to the grocery store in a couple weeks lost me an inch, it's also saved me money (which is much-needed these days). Yippee!

Why the hell am I complaining?

All right. Back to work now. Hope you can find the silver lining, despite whatever�s going on.�