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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Not a Fan of the Thong Song

2005-04-15� � 2:51 p.m.
Sometime after beginning to date Benito, I switched from commando to thongs. It had something to do with putting an extra layer between us when I wanted to avoid sleeping with him yet still wanted him to want to sleep with me.

(Yeah, it�s a little confusing.)

Anyway, why I bring this up is because of the whole several inches of thongs hanging out the back of pants thing.

Previously I was all �Ick! Who do you think you are? Britney Spears?�

And then I was all �Ick! I don�t even like that on Britney!�

And now that I�m a wearer of the thong, I have to sympathize with dear Mrs. Spears-Federline�s derriere�s hanging-overs.

Sometimes the thong just plain sticks out, whether you want it to or not.

I wear normal low-rise pants that don�t go way down or hang to anywhere. Completely respectable pants, ya hear?

And when I work, I wear pants that usually sit a little below my navel. These are also respectable pants.

So why is it that occasionally I feel a little wind, reach back, and find that three inches of my thong are out and about, flashing the oh-so-obvious t-back for all the world to see?

I don�t want to be taken for a teeny-bopper red carpet imitator. Nor do I want to be thought of as a ho-bag who pulls her thong up intentionally since she can�t dazzle boys with her personality.

I swear my pants just slip down, and sometimes there�s some thong there. I certainly don�t plan it, and I�m definitely embarrassed when I notice that it�s happened.

Today was especially embarrassing, as I know the guy behind me got an eyeful.

My friend Happy got me a super-on-sale new wallet she spied that matches the new purse I bought a few weeks ago. (Pink, faux alligator!) I�m not quite used to the wallet�s many pockets, so I didn�t notice that I had the change purse open when I went to reach for a fiver at lunch today.

A quarter fell onto the floor, and I bent over to pick it up.

Lo and behold, inches upon inches of thong appear! In hot pink, against grey pants and a navy shirt, it screamed to be noticed.

LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME! I�M JO�S UNDERWEAR! I�M HOT PINK!!

And gauging by the eyebrow raise the dirty bastard behind me gave me as I rose, it was quite a view. �



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