My half-awake, half-asleep dream took place at the gym, in the free weights section where I go a lift my 15-pound dumbbells while the big boys grunt and lift 50s in each hand. A Sherwood song came on, and I said aloud, “Hey! That’s Tom’s profile song.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw the guy from one bench over turn to look at me. When I turned to meet his glance, it was Tom.

Now, mind you, my conscious brain is laughing at my dreaming self at this point. But being a conscious brain that enjoys the ensuring hilarity that comes from amusing myself at the oddest moments, my conscious brain kept the laughter to a hushed giggle to avoid waking my dreaming self up.

Good job, brain.

So Tom comes over and chats me up. Like in real life, I’m armed with a sly smile, a slight smirk, and my usual wit and charm. He’s falling prey, just as my charms to do all of the boys who, um... approach me at the gym’s weight bench section.

He then asked me if I’d like to hang out with him that Saturday, and that was where my conscious brain could no longer stifle the laughter and woke me up. I would have much preferred if the brain had at least managed to keep things quiet until after I made out with him, but sometimes the brain just doesn’t cooperate.

Then today during that post-lunch haze, I was thinking about the possibilities that my dirty, dirty mind could have wandered toward with my faux-crush. I then had a revelation!

My favorite MS Word font is Tahoma. If you rearrange the letters, it spells, “Aha, Tom!”

It’s so meant to be, and he’s got no clue.