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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o |
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Coyote Ugly Clothes |
2003-02-23� �� 4:23 a.m. |
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Coyote Ugly, Entry One
I�ve been asked what I�m wearing to the Coyote Ugly tryouts. All right fashion police. Hold yer horses. I�m a Texan and can pull this off. Don�t get me wrong -- Chicago women are absolutely beautiful. But Texan woman are exotic, and there�s something about that Southern charm that makes us catnip for men. They, on the other hand, can wear those knee-high black boots without looking trampy, leaving me both cold and jealous. I pull out my fashion boots with the clunky heels and no-slip bottom -- perfect for bar-top dancing. I have my thrift store jeans that hug my hips nicely and show off that no-potpie-gettin� bootie. And for a shirt, I decide to make this one special: I took my marketing swag t-shirt from the company that laid me off, cut it up the center and tied it up to my goodies. (Okay, okay. Speaking of goodies, let�s not forget the push-up bra. This skinny mamacita needs all the help she can get.) A little war paint, and I�m looking like a grade-A whore bag. Um, I mean a bonafide coyote bartender.
Coyote Ugly, Entry Three�
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Moving Day - 2008-02-15
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