Then, instead of making a request to merely go home (to which I�d have said no, of course), he asked if I�d go home with him, strip down to my undies, prop up in a doggie style, and let him just look at me from behind.

Can you say Freak?!

The odd thing about this guy (besides his brazen request) is that he�s a completely normal-looking man who you wouldn�t expect to put it all out there immediately.

Chicago isn�t all that big when you exclude all of the places young white folk won�t ever go. Point being: I�m likely to see you again, I�m going to recognize you, and don�t think that I�m not going to point you out and tell everyone I�m with about you.

Feel free to let out your inner freak. Just please wait until we�ve been dating a while.

So what is it about guys that lets them think that they�ll get away with this nonsense? Are there girls who actually say, �Hmm, yeah. Going home to let you spread and look at my butt crack sounds like a great plan,� and follow through?

If so, please forward this entry to her. I�ve got a bone to pick.

Dear Girl Friend,

Like the one woman who responded positively when construction workers wooed at her, you�re ruining it for the rest of us. Because that one bitch thought it was cute and funny to be told that she had an ass that doesn�t stop, we all now have to hear it. Since you and your type condone and encourage such behavior, men will repeat it on the off chance that the line will work again.

Men talk. (Yes, they also lie... But they do talk.) And when you allow men do whatever they please, you�ve set up unrealistic expectations that the rest of us have to hear about.

I don�t want to hear about any stranger wanting to stick his finger up my ass and sniff it.

I don�t want to hear about him wanting to lick my feet after a night out in open-toed sandals.

I don�t want to hear about how he wants me to do him in the cab.

I don�t want to hear any of this.

But because you let him get the stinky finger, get up and personal with you other phalanges, and get the cab driver angry that he�ll need to Windex the guy�s explosion of half-lives off the back seat doesn�t mean that I will.

Now will you kindly quit giving men the idea that it�s acceptable to make these requests before he even knows my last name? It would be very much appreciated.

Love,
Jo

I�m going to one day write a guide on how to not be a shitty woman. It only takes one to screw it up. It�s hard enough being a woman, and we certainly don�t need one of our own to make it any harder.�