T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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The Dog Case

2006-08-14† Ė† 12:58 p.m.
I kid you not. This is a true story.

My friendís friend was dog sitting for a family for a couple weeks. On Day #2, the dog died. After a sad phone call, the family asked that she haul the dog to the vet for cremation, since you canít leave 60 pounds of dead dog in an apartment for two weeks without coming home to an awful stench.

So, how do you transport 60 pounds of dead dog?

If youíre her size, a box certainly isnít gonna do it. She canít lift 60 pounds of dead (ahem) weight. So she located a roller suitcase to ease the transport.

Why this friend didnít find someone with a car, I donít know. Why she didnít just use a taxi, I really donít know. But there she was one afternoon, pulling the rolling suitcase up the stairs to the el tracks.

It isnít very often that someone gives up their seat to the elderly, that people donít shove their ways onto an already-crowded train, or that someone isnít shouting about how much he or she loves Jesus during rush hour, so consideration isnít the norm.

When a guy offered to help her get the rolling suitcase up the stairs, she politely declined. The dead dog was her responsibility, and it was a little creepy to have a guy help her pull dead dog up the steps, even if he didnít know the rolling caseís contents.

He again offered, and she again declined.

He tried starting conversation with her about what was so heavy in her case, but she blew him off.

After her train ride, coincidence had it that he got off at her stop. His consideration continued, and this time she didnít decline. After all, 60 pounds of dog is heavy on the stairs, he was truly willing to help, and he would never need to know what was in the case.

When he reached the bottom of the stairs and went through the turnstile, he took off running, pulling the rolling case behind him, leaving her there both caseless and dogless.

I donít know if he was expecting gold bars, bricks of cocaine, or a bunch of vacation knickknacks, but imagine his horror when he opens the suitcase and sees a dead dog.

May that teach the bastard a lesson. †

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