By hang out, I mean that we hung out. I'm not *that* kind of woman.

We didn't exchange information, and it wasn't a big deal. A few months later I ran into him at a Wrigleyville bar, and he gave me his card and asked that I contact him.

I was bored the next day at work, so I shot him an email.

The following is what words were exchanged. I'm the one with good grammar, correct use of punctuation, and stellar spelling.

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Barcelona last night. Rockit and Rock Bottom previously. I am recalling more and more of the first night when your friend chatted up my friend, and I know you're nothing but Trouble.

Yes, with a capital T.

Work is getting a big thumbs down today. Anything amusing on your end?

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Trouble!!!!! Far from it...I'm a nice young irish catholic conservative republican (with a very bad propensity toward mischief).

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I think we're twins. But you're still trouble. T-r-o-u-b-l-e.

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If we're twins, that means you're trouble too...what sort of trouble do you like?

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I fight crime, not contribute to it. I have the cape and superhero underroos to prove it.

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I'd love to see those underroos!

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In the past two weeks I've foiled a liquor store robbery and ran a marathon. I need to find something above and beyond impressive this weekend to keep the cape and underroos. If I don't find something by Sunday, I have to return them to the authorities. You might just miss your opportunity to see said underroos.

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Impressive indeed! Do drunk hookups w/ boys named [Name changed to protect the slutty] allow u to keep ure underoos? Cause if so, I'll be out tomorrow night...

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[I ignored the message until the following Monday, having completely written him off as a prospect at this point.]

The authorities took everything, including the cape. Bastards.

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Ohh - I'm sure you could earn them back...you're a clever gal � use that female charm!

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Silly me. I signed away all rights in exchange for a Klondike bar and a box of Slim Jims.

I'm going to a wedding in the burbs on Friday. If the preacher doesn't show, I can always perform the ceremony thanks to my ordination from some Internet church. If you hear about a newly-caped wedding official and a chloroformed priest in Carol Stream, keep quiet.

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Your secret is safe w/ me...although I'm not sure how you come up w/ this stuff!!

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I at least answered the age-old question of what I'd do for a Klondike bar.�