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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Now Accepting Applications

2003-06-10� � 10:18 a.m.
I�m now accepting applications.

Applications for what, you ask? I�m looking for someone who wants a sugar mama. And since no one wanted to be my beneficiary, I�m pretty confident that no one will try for this role either.

Today I got an offer from Company #1, and they want to make sure that I have plenty of discretionary cash to keep me from going elsewhere. It�s pretty ridiculous. I have one week to come up with an answer, so I�ll have to put the moves on the other two companies to get the lead out of their asses and let me know how much dinero they�re willing to shell out on me.

Although Company #1 had some �bad news� labels, I�ve been assured that my job is secure for at least a year. And simply, if I work there for a year, I can easily once again go six months jobless without any concern.

And in a case of counting chickens before they�re hatched, I�ve come up with a list of things to buy once I start getting some paychecks in the bank:

-- An MP3 player
-- A laptop that isn�t so ghetto
-- Some new clothes
-- Some non-leather brown dress shoes
-- A trip back to Texas for the weekend
-- A trip to Vegas
-- A trip to California

Note that I left the pony off of the list. A pony is not an acceptable mode of transportation. It�s no substitute for the el, but a powder pink VW Beetle would be.

I will not buy a powder pink Bug. I will not buy a powder pink Bug. I will not buy a powder pink Bug. I will not buy a powder pink Bug. I will not buy a powder pink Bug. I will not buy a powder pink Bug.

But a new CRV sure is tempting.

I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV. I will not buy a CRV.

I will buy a laptop to replace the one I have here that is barely hanging on. I will buy an MP3 player to help entertain me while running, rollerblading, and sitting on the el. I will occasionally pick up the tab while out with friends. I will build my saving account back to where it was before.

I most certainly will not buy a pony when the companies all offer pre-tax spending on CTA cards. Ponies and cars alike are expensive to feed, and Hambone is enough work.

So, I at least have an offer to join the ranks of the employed. I�ll let you know how everything else goes when I call up the other places.


Although I place no faith in horoscopes, I did find yesterday's quite interesting:

Your self-confidence is likely to skyrocket today, dear Libra. Good news about money could reach you while you're at home, causing family members to want to celebrate. You might be a little tired, but you'll be up for it anyway, as the news gives you a "second wind." Expect a lot of compliments and pride from the members of your household, as well as from others whom you might happen to meet.



Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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