T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o
Proof that I am Crazy
|2004-10-22† Ė† 12:20 p.m.|
Clarity25ís husband wrote her entry for her today, listing her quirks. Although Iím sure Benito could list off a good deal of weirdness that comes from me, I donít think that even he has a full picture of my nuttiness.
So todayís entry is just a long list of the weird Jo-things.
I only eat one food at a time on my plate. Food items can touch, but they rarely are eaten if mixed. Usually I eat my salad, then the vegetable, then the starch, and then the main portion of my meal.
I have to be the cook, or Iíll hover over whoever is cooking in a supervisor way until itís done. The kitchen is my domain, so get out and let me do the cooking!
Although I love most vegetables, Iím not a fan of beets or brussel sprouts.
Iím totally lying about brussel sprouts. Iíve never had them and have no clue to what they taste like. The way they look just freaks me out, though. Foods like look weird arenít likely to be eaten or tried.
Up until about a year ago, I wouldnít eat raw tomato on anything. However, ketchup and tomato sauce are some of my favorite foods.
I love cake, but I donít like frosting.
The idea of meat hardly ever sounds appealing to me anymore. However, cheese and ice cream sound luscious!
I carry around a notebook with all of my to-dos in it. Itís a big notebook. Its contents include the following items: mail that needs to go out, a weekly calendar listed on the left and my weekly to-do on the right, lists like this for the following weeks, a grocery shopping list, a list of recipes to try, a list of things I still need for my house, a list of holiday purchases to make for each family member, an envelope for receipts for said purchases, a monthly calendar until the end of 2005, a list of financial goals for the next three years, a list of emergency phone numbers, a list of the phone numbers in my cell phone, a list of movies to add to my DVD mailing company once I sign up, two small folders of Mary Kay stuff, address labels, stamps, insurance information, and some blank pages for other lists that need to be made.
My clothes are sorted by work and non-work items. Then theyíre assorted by clothing type: skirts, pants, jeans (only on the non-work side), short-sleeved shirts, nicer short-sleeved shirts, long-sleeved shirts, turtlenecks, button-up long-sleeved shirts, sweaters, sweaters with turtlenecks, dresses (only on the non-work side), and suit coats. There is no color sorting.
The contents within my purse and my makeup bag are in a particular order. I know immediately if something isnít there.
I have a running grocery list in my above-mentioned binder with 15 or so of the usual meals Iíll cook listed at the top, their ingredients, and a shopping list below of the missing ingredients. I sort the items by Produce, Cold, Canned, Dry, Frozen, and Miscellaneous items. Thereís also a category for Whole Foods and Trader Joes for my high-maintenance soy-heavy foods. At this very moment, I can make ten of the items on my 15-item list, and I havenít gone grocery shopping this week.
Without fail, I dust twice a week, sweep once a week, mop once a week, go around with Windex and a rag once a week, wash clothes three times a week (including a load for my sheets), vacuum once a week, scrub the tub and shower once a week, and swish the toilets once a week.
I believe Windex is the ideal all-purpose cleaner, not the far inferior 409.
I fold my towels once width-wise, once again in the same direction, and then in a trifold in the opposite direction at the end. When towels arenít folded like this, I feel compelled to refold them.
I have only twice refolded all of Benitoís towels.
I go through and clean out my closet and drawers once a month, and I always have stuff to get rid of.
My kitchen sink is always cleaned out and looking shiny.
Things I say often: so much so, no waaaay, would you kindly..., youíre pretty (to Benito only), ooooh -- shiny!, my feet smell, Hammus!
Thereís one phrase that I used to say a lot, but I donít say it anymore. I had a shitface of a boyfriend (rot in hell) who teased me about it until I cried (you bastard), and I never said it again. I canít even remember what the phrase was because I so thoroughly blocked it out (again with the rotting in hell bit).
Anyone whoís read me for even a little while knows that I hold grudges and that Iím a master at not forgetting the details of why Iím holding my grudge. Current grudges include the following:
Iím mad at someone for writing me a mean email when I made a reasonable request.
Iím mad at someone for putting me in a dangerous situation.
Iím mad at someone for ignoring me after moving.
And, yes, I have a grudge against the bastard mentioned above.
I also have grudges against the following companies: McDonalds (for putting beef flavoring in their French fries and having no vegetarian options), Arbyís (for being yucky), CVS (for not being open on Sundays or after 7 p.m.), Jamba Juice on State Street in downtown (for several reasons), Burger King (for their latest rounds of commercials with the creepy plastic king and the people dressed as chickens chasing real chickens), GAP (for not having pants or jeans in my size and for being so much like Old Navy but so much more expensive), KFC (for animal cruelty), United Airlines (for serving only Pepsi products), and Iím sure several others.
Places Iíve recently lifted my grudge from include Taco Bell (for no longer accidentally getting meat in my cheese-less bean burrito), Old Navy (although they do now have pants or jeans in my size, their shirts are generally cute, inexpensive, and cut just right in the waist area), and Whole Foods (although wholly inferior to Texasí Central Market, they sell spices in bulk).
There are to be a minimum number of icons on my desktop.
The proper dating convention when naming a file is MMDDYYYY, not the accepted Y2K convention of YYYYMMDD.
Hot keys are to be used at all times available. The mouse is usually an accessory that just gets in the way.
I much prefer using a laptop to any desktop. I doubt Iíll ever go back.
I keep laptops until I absolutely must get rid of it. For instance, I had my 486 laptop from when I started college in 1995 until right before I graduated in 1999. I got another laptop in 2002 and kept it until I moved this last time, despite its keyboard being fried by an orange juice spill almost two years prior and having to use an attached keyboard and mouse with it. Seeing that both computers were already outdated when I got them, keeping them for as long as I did was quite a feat.
I have a very organized folder system within the My Documents folder. If I helped you with your resume once, itís under My Documents --- Personal --- Other Peopleís Stuff --- Resumes --- ďResume for John Jones.docĒ.
No, Iím not going to list my actual, deep-rooted, analyze-this kinda fears here. These are just the irrational ones that come to mind:
Iím going to lose my notebook with all of my lists. Think of all the list-making Iíd have to redo. Eek!
Iím always checking my earrings for fear that Iíve lost one. Since my earrings are the only real jewelry I own, Iíd really like to keep them for a while.
I have this tension that forms whenever I imagine myself sticking my foot in the toilet. However, itís not just my foot that I stick in the toilet, itís my foot thatís wearing a rollerskate. And ym foot with the rollerskate always seems to get stuck in the toilet, and I have to pull and pull to get my skate-wearing foot out while balancing on my other skated foot.
I also have this fear of getting stuck on a drainpipe over a ditch. Donít go thinking this is a large ditch with a long fall either. This is probably a three-foot drainpipe in a six-foot-deep ditch. Itís nothing to be afraid of, but I imagine it and get this anxiety about the situation. †