I want juice. I want Daddy. I want another ride on the Big Wheel. I want some more attention.

Well, I want you to knock it the hell off.

After trying to take a single photo where my cousins and I held a few of the kids and smiled happily for the holiday, I had to flee. I�m seriously about to lose it, so I�m sitting in what used to be my bedroom with the door locked, far away from the mouths of babes.

On the upside, I got in a verbal war with a five year old and won. That was one pissed off kindergartner. Luckily he�s got a reputation for being a whiner, so I can feign ignorance when he says that I said the word Shit.

I�m sealing off my Fallopian tubes, and I encourage you to do the same if you aren�t going to have perfect little angels or plan on letting them out of the house before they're 12.�