T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Being Old isn't so Bad...

2006-08-23† Ė† 4:40 p.m.
Yes, I eat oatmeal for breakfast. I enjoy easy listening music. I love prunes. Moth balls do kinda have a clean smell to them. I have a fake tooth. I have three pairs of glasses because I lose them so frequently.

However, I thought I would be much, much older before I ever received the benefits of being the squeaky wheel.

Iíve sat at my desk at work for the better part of three years. At about when I took up permanent residence there during the daylight hours, work switched to a new type of cubicle with shorter walls. Since thereís no telling who Iíll be sitting next to on any given day, having the tall walls is far superior.

First off, you donít have to ever look directly at anyone. Second, you can make faces, pick your nose, and check your teeth in a handheld mirror in relative privacy. Third, if you let out a stinky fart, you donít have to face anyone about it.

Okay, I canít think of any other reasons, but the first is enough to make me want those walls to stay up.

Since I saw what was going on, I took precautions and did stuff like affix some filing trays onto the upper level, thumbtack my upcoming race courses to the wall, and hang a calendar up. If the space is being used, itíll require someone to think this through and likely submit a business case for paying someone for an extra fifteen minutes of his or her time to either talk me into taking stuff down or doing it themselves and possibly facing my wrath.

So Iíve got my primo spot, and all is going well.

Then about three months ago, my peace and quiet from the invisible neighbors was interrupted by some inconsiderate jerk loud-mouths who canít seem to grasp that tall cubicle walls around two sides of you isnít enough to make your loud-ass conversations not disrupt everyone in your working radius.


Things just got progressively worse and worse. I started wearing headphones instead of my usual earplugs. Then more people joined the team, and I had to wear earplugs with the headphones over them.

This just made me grumpy.

Then two afternoons ago the office manager approached me with a clipboard. Would I be willing to move away from the loud-mouth jerks and onto the other side of the floor? Take down my strategically-placed filing trays, race course maps, and calendar? Move all of my stuff? Take up residence where there are no tall walls to protect me from accidentally making eye contact with someone sitting across from me?

No, hell no, not gonna happen.

Okay, so I really did want to get away from the loudmouths... However, I knew that I wouldnít get a wish list fulfilled unless I played my cards right.

Hi, Iím the squeaky wheel. You have grease? Please apply liberally, thankyouverymuch.

So, yes, I have a low-wall. However, Iím in the corner facing no one, and I have a great view of Lake Michigan from 38 floors up.

Someone please get me a sweater, some hot tea, and a lap cat. Acting old and cranky seems to pay off quite well.†

Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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