Someone else said something to me the other day about needing to be more human. Apparently being a hard-ass who doesn�t cry at movies or coo at kittens isn�t too appealing.

And if more than one person makes a complaint, it�s something that needs to be listened to.

I know it�s normal to cry at a breakup. I know it�s normal to do a bit of obsessing. I know it�s normal to want to run to those who you love, looking for support and sympathy.

But truthfully, it�s making me crazy. I feel like I should just suck this crap up and move along.

Anytime I wonder about him and if there�s any possibility that he�ll wake up and say, �Holy crap! What the hell am I doing?� I want to kick myself in the ass.

Hard.

It�s having delusions like that that are going to make this even worse on me.

And, Christ, it�s not like I need this to be any harder than it already is.

I�m truthfully just barely making it.

And it�s seriously angering me that I�m being the sort of person who can�t self-administer an ass kicking, after 26 years of being able to deliver one when needed.

I�ve been using my head for the past two years. Thinking with my heart isn�t going to get me anywhere now.

I really just want it to stop. Just go away. �