I no longer have to conceal a can opener in my coat pocket anymore because the folks over at the soup company are geniuses! Hip-hip-hooray!

And just for reference, last year�s winner for invention on the year was the self-stick heating pads. My occasionally angry uterus thanks the company that came up with those.

I got a most-helpful guestbook entry on the marathon training program in exchange for raising money for charity. Instead of aiming to raise thousands for this cause and risking getting stuck with a few grand left to pay for out-of-pocket, how about I just hit you guys up to donate to the American Cancer Society through my friend Paul�s fundraising group. (It�s not yet fundraising season, but do expect a fancy-pants banner and daily mention once it is.)

I�ll place bets with anyone who wants to wager something. I�ll run promotions of others� sites in exchange for donations (much like Crowhihs did last year). I�ve got a Mother�s Day sales event planned to raise money. I�ll host a beer for dollars party at a local pub. I�ll of course throw in a chunk of change of my own.

So I went online looking for training, and I found that the local runner�s club had a group meet for $255. They claimed to follow a certain program, so I looked up the program through the infinite powers of google.

Lo and behold, they guy lists his training program online and even has an email list to remind you what that day�s running assignment is and offer additional tips.

And after raising money to help my friend reach his family�s goal for a very worthwhile charity, I�ll start my own FREE marathon training program to anyone and everyone. June would be the start of the 18-week program, so I�ll put up an ad in Craig�s List for people to meet me downtown to run from there.

I�m helping charity. I�m getting the training support and personal encouragement. I�m running a marathon.

So there.

I might have mentioned before, but Benito will be working a lot this summer. We keep joking about things I can do to keep busy over the months he�ll be slaving away.

Have no fear Benito, real estate, writing a book NaNoWriMo-style, and the marathon training stuff will give me plenty to do.

I�ve never had problems entertaining myself. I never really get lonely, so it works out so nicely with me living alone. Whether it�s something semi-productive like cropping and resizing all of my photos on my laptop, my weekly chores, or reading until my eyes pop out, there�s usually something that I can get distracted with.

Just last night I hung photo frames in my bedroom (it looks great and makes me want more frames in the room), made dinner (spicy curried lentils and green beans), watched three episodes of Law and Order (while cooking, eating, doing chores, and working out so it wasn�t a complete time blow), worked out my legs, wrote a letter, finished a chapter and a half in my class, and cleaned the ear crud off of my earrings.

Tonight will be cooking (spaghetti with the snobby noodles and this new no-sugar Ragu, some garlic bread, and a glass of red wine instead of too many Diet Cokes), more chores, likely more Law and Order, a run on the treadmill, and another chapter of my class.

All of this on normal nights, and I�m worried about stuff to do once Benito picks up 14-hour days? Ha!

Did I mention that I have a new ring, that it�s blue, and that I love it?

Mmmm... Okay. Nevermind then.

As for Napoleon Dynamite, it had the makings for a decently funny movie, as the characters were all obnoxious enough to be a tad away from an actual possibility. However, there was no cohesive storyline. NONE!

So the brother spends a lot of time online, meets a girl, and then changes his insecure shell of a self to be exactly what the girl wants. WHO CARES!

The uncle is an entrepreneurial wanna-be who comes up with half-baked ideas. Now had the time machine done something or even contributed to the story, it�d be fine. But why would he start a breast enhancement company? He found out the time machine didn�t work and therefore didn�t need a ton of money anymore. MAKES NO SENSE!

What in the hell was the stuff about the workout guy? There was no story there either. JUST UGLY PANTS AND AN UGLY WIFE!

The dancing on stage? WHO CARES! Asking popular girls out and getting rejected or pitied? WHO CARES? The election? WHO CARES?

The girl selling bracelets was the only character used correctly as movies are to be made. She comes by selling stuff that is eventually used (and rather cleverly too). She becomes a love interest. She saves Pedro�s hair when he shaves it off. She... well, that�s it.

I recall laughing once during the entire movie. It was when ND very predictably slapped his brother after being challenged to a fight. The wussy equivalent to a sucker punch made me laugh.

Go ahead and waste your time watching Napoleon Dynamite. But don�t say that I didn�t warn you.

I could definitely rewrite Napoleon Dynamite using the same characters and basic scenarios, making a much better movie.

I smell another project... �