T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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180 Degrees Due to the -20 Degrees

2007-02-05† Ė† 2:30 p.m.
I noticed the other day that the things that I once loved about the city have done a full 180 lately.

Take riding the bus, for instance...

Before: Oh look! This card holds conveniently pulls from my credit card, gives me a bonus when I auto-add money in $10 increments, and I get my own speedy line on the new, good buses!

Now: Why doesnít my CTA card ever fucking work? I use it 2-3 times a week, and it sits in my wallet for the rest of the time. And yet -- And Yet -- Iíve had to replace the damn thing three times because it mysteriously split down the middle once and just plain olí stopped working twice. Each time I replace it, even though itís through no fault of my own that the card is made of plastic as delicate as fairy wings, it pulls $5 off my cardís balance. And why the fuck donít people get out of the way so I can use the as-advertised Speedy Lane (or whatever the fuck itís called). MOVE IT!

Before: People from all walks of life are converging at this moment, our lives briefly intercepting before we again part and go about our business.

After: I now have germs from everywhere, thanks to the sneezing old man, the woman who just wiped her nose and touched the bar, and the kid hacking up a lung like she was a smoker. Donít touch me, breathe in my direction, or so much as look at me, for fear that Iíll catch whatever it is thatís currently rotting you away. And by fucking god, why does the #70 bus always smell like fried chicken?!

Before: How convenient! It goes everywhere I want to go!

After: Where is the goddamn bus? Iíve been waiting for 35 minutes, and itís negative twenty out here. NEGATIVE TWENTY. Iíll be good god damned if Iím going to spend $15 on a taxi to meet a friend in Lincoln Park for a sandwich, but Iím now to the point that Iím going to be 30 minutes late and OH FUCK! I CANíT FEEL MY FACE! Dammit, ďTaxi!Ē †

Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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