Take riding the bus, for instance...

Before: Oh look! This card holds conveniently pulls from my credit card, gives me a bonus when I auto-add money in $10 increments, and I get my own speedy line on the new, good buses!

Now: Why doesn�t my CTA card ever fucking work? I use it 2-3 times a week, and it sits in my wallet for the rest of the time. And yet -- And Yet -- I�ve had to replace the damn thing three times because it mysteriously split down the middle once and just plain ol� stopped working twice. Each time I replace it, even though it�s through no fault of my own that the card is made of plastic as delicate as fairy wings, it pulls $5 off my card�s balance. And why the fuck don�t people get out of the way so I can use the as-advertised Speedy Lane (or whatever the fuck it�s called). MOVE IT!

Before: People from all walks of life are converging at this moment, our lives briefly intercepting before we again part and go about our business.

After: I now have germs from everywhere, thanks to the sneezing old man, the woman who just wiped her nose and touched the bar, and the kid hacking up a lung like she was a smoker. Don�t touch me, breathe in my direction, or so much as look at me, for fear that I�ll catch whatever it is that�s currently rotting you away. And by fucking god, why does the #70 bus always smell like fried chicken?!

Before: How convenient! It goes everywhere I want to go!

After: Where is the goddamn bus? I�ve been waiting for 35 minutes, and it�s negative twenty out here. NEGATIVE TWENTY. I�ll be good god damned if I�m going to spend $15 on a taxi to meet a friend in Lincoln Park for a sandwich, but I�m now to the point that I�m going to be 30 minutes late and OH FUCK! I CAN�T FEEL MY FACE! Dammit, �Taxi!� �