Hambone would lounge by my side as I toyed online, using my wireless network, and life was good.

I specifically liked the Toshiba for its indestructibility. One friend told me of company misuse, including fallings from stories up on a drunken business trip and a hotel balcony. Another told me of toting it around the rainforest, the desert, and other extreme conditions and how it fared well in all environments.

And although I had no plans to accidentally run it over with my rental car or test its waterproofing in a hotel hot tub, there did come a day that I tested the laptop under idiotic conditions.

It was a very sad day when I accidentally spilled juice on my laptop�s keyboard.

I immediately turned it upside down, forming an A-frame with its body. And there it sat for hours and hours. Certainly the juice had to have run out or dried up after its sitting, but circuits twittered when the On button was pressed, and I feared that my Toshiba was a goner.

Somehow, though, it was merely partially gone. I ripped out the laptop�s keyboard, soaked it in my kitchen sink, cleaned the now-exposed metal pieces with Q-tips dipped in alcohol, and hoped to all hell that it would magically work when all was cleaned. However, such was not the case.

With na�ve notions, I ordered another keyboard off eBay and tried it. No luck.

I took it to a laptop repair shop by campus, only to have the technician told me it was fucked.

I gave in and turned my Toshiba into a desktop, plugging in a mouse and keyboard, giving it permanent space on my desk. It wasn�t nearly as happy as before, but it worked. Seeing as I was moving to Chicago shortly and didn�t want to unnecessarily drop a cool-g on something that wasn�t truly necessary, I made due with what I had and make it work.

Seven months after rolling in the big bucks, I finally dropped my cheapass-ness and ordered myself a new laptop this morning. I didn�t go all crazy now, but I got everything I needed and enough of a system to keep me happy for the next few years.

[For those of you who wish to touch your privates while thinking of my joy of having what will certainly feel like a Porsche after driving on my Toshiba, here are the specs: 2.4Ghz Celeron, 256 MB DDR, 266 Mhz, 24x CD-RW/DVD, 20GB hard drive. It�s nothing to jizz over, but I never liked getting that in my hair anyway.]

So now I�m setting up the wireless Internet stuff, having told Helga that I bought something to make her Internet better. *cough* some wireless this-and-thats and another wireless card *cough* So I�ll soon be working off her DSL too! Whee!

Like I�m ever going to leave the house now... I�ll always be online! Internetting while pooping -- Here I come! �