T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Not a Wiener, Not Sleeping, Not Eating Carpet

2006-04-10† Ė† 5:43 p.m.
Iím my quest to not feel like such a wiener, I did something late last week to challenge my body even more than the usual abuse I put it through. (Much like taking up boxing is supposed to do...)

Remember last year when I ran a 10-mile race on Saturday and then a 10k race on Monday? I again signed up for those; however, I also signed up for a race the Thursday before.

Come the end of May, on Thursday night Iíll run 3.5 miles, representing my companyís running team. On Friday Iíll take it easy and get plenty of rest. On Saturday Iíll run 10 miles, ending at the 50-yard line of Soldier Field. On Sunday Iíll drink plenty of Gatorade and ice my knees. On Monday Iíll finish my five-day endurance challenge with a neighborhood 10k.

Iím really looking forward to this. Not so much that I was able to wake up early to squeeze in a run on a workday... But I am ready to get down to business in my quest to be physically stronger.

Speaking of waking up early, itís just not happening. Iím back to not being able to sleep, so waking up when the first alarm goes off (the get-up-and-work-out alarm vs. the second, get-your-ass-up-for-work alarm) just isnít happening. This morning I was so tired that after I brushed my teeth and washed my face, I laid face-down on my bedroom floor for a little rest before putting on clothes.

Why face-down? Itís horizontal, therefore restful; but itís just uncomfortable enough that I donít have to worry about actually falling asleep.

I dragged my ass into work and spent the day copying stuff from an Excel spreadsheet and pasting it into Word. Itís taken so long to format that Iíll get to do my actual brain-using work tomorrow. I guess with the lack of sleep, itís probably best that I do that sort of work tomorrow.

Speaking of tomorrow, Iíve just been told that I was going to have a personal ad posted on Craigís List. A friend and I were bitching about how disgusting men can be (remember my previous entry on child molesters being caught on camera?), and I joked that I would go on a date with a woman and report back with the results.

I went onto Craigís Listís women-for-women section to find a nice lesbian who wouldnít try to touch my cooter, only to find that the women there were just as horny as the men.

And as graphic in their descriptions.

And with dirty photos.

I was expecting descriptions about how theyíre looking for true companionship. Silly me.

A friend and I were on IM, browsing through the ads, when she accused me of writing this one. I didnít write it, but it sounds like something I would have written.

Iím not actively searching out anyone -- male or female -- to date, but my girlfriend is writing something about me to see who all responds.

All Iíve got to say is that sheíd better not post a photo of me or mention anything about muff diving. †

Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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