Hello all. Today I�m pretending to be a temp.

Somewhere along the way my resume made it into the hands of a temp company. Lo and behold -- now brace yourself -- after years of some serious dorking out on las computadoras, I apparently type fast enough to be a data entry clerk. [grin]

Who knew it?!

And because I didn�t have anything else scheduled for today, I accepted their short-term assignment and found myself dressing in a suit. Somehow the company I�m working for thinks that I type faster if I�m wearing uncomfortable clothes. Oh well. At least I look pretty.

I originally had this entry outlined in my head, bitching about why this temp assignment blows. I have an excuse of an office with wires, pipes, and fixtures exposed. I�m sitting at what�s probably the least ergonomic desk ever, consisting of a table, a plastic chair, and a tiny monitor marked �TRASH� that doesn�t adjust whatsoever. I have to wear business clothes to type up their drivel. I�m obviously light-years ahead in brain power than everyone I�ve encountered. The work is dull.

Okay, so I just listed some bad points about the job. I�m not getting into them. The list suffices to explain just enough how much the job could stink if I took on a negative outlook. This entry will have no more complaining -- I promise!

Now let me tell you about the wonderful parts of this temp job.

First off, the cave of an office I�m in is far away from everything. And when away from everything,that also includes everyone. Although there are all sorts of exposed hazards in the room, this work environment is conducive to me not doing a damn thing. *cough*WritingDiaryEntriesWhileOnTheClock*cough*

Along the desk area is a biiiig window that overlooks the courthouse. I can look into the neighboring offices, watching everyone else work while I take a suggested �RSI break�. Gotta protect those wrists! I guess since I�m doing damn little of anything, I�m merely taking precautionary measures, right?

Directly behind the desk is a private bathroom. There�s a mirror in there, so I spend a good amount of time making faces at my reflection. I�ve determined that the best fish face involves sucking the cheeks in slightly instead of my previous inhalation of the skin cells once used in biology classes. I also spend a lot of time brushing my hair since I know that it�s almost time to cut it off and donate it to Locks of Love again.

My previous work involved writing computer manuals for some of the larger companies in the world. I routinely dealt with highly technical materials and how to present them to the audience in the most customer-oriented way. Here I�m merely typing what they have written out into a spreadsheet that will eventually print name badges for everyone. Not a big deal, right? Whereas some people would become bored, I�m taking advantage of this mindless work. Note the fish faces above...

Because this is for a security system, I�m dealing with some confidential information. Each sheet has the person�s weight, height, and eye and hair color. Based on this info and their penmanship, I try to imagine what they look like. Balthazar would be my Latin lover with his swirly loops that make up the L and the Z in his name. Unfortunately, I�m pretty sure with a name like that, he looks something like Skeletor.

Finally, I come to the greatest aspect of my job and the strategy I�m employing to take over the temp world one company at a time:

The previous temp apparently took her sweet freaking time, so I look like a data entry whiz. My plan: Continue blowing her out of the water while working at 75% capacity. This client will start requesting me. My temp agency will think I�m a genius and will give me more jobs. I bring the work level down to 70% and still blow the other temps out of the water. I continue to get great reviews and more and more jobs while lowering my work intensity this whole time. And when all is said and done, I�ll be working at a mere 25% and can demand a fat raise because everyone thinks I�m a badass.

Watch out: ChicagoJo will be the city�s super temp! �