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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o |
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On Being Quirkyalone |
| 2003-07-24� �� 12:45 p.m. |
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I was reading Oz�s diary yesterday afternoon and came across a link to Sasha Cagen�s article, People like us... the Quirkyalones. Quirkyalones are �deeply single� people. They go about their ways, doing as they please and going about their single life. They�re not anti-marriage, per se, but they fully understand that a relationship does nothing to define who they are.
So I took the quiz and got the following results: 94% -- Very quirkyalone: Relatives may give you quizzical looks, and so may friends, but you know in your heart of hearts that you are following your inner voice. Though you may not be romancing a single person, you are romancing the world. Celebrate your freedom on National Quirkyalone Day, February 14th!I grimaced for a moment, thinking of myself in Calista Flockhart-length skirts, chasing a dancing baby, and hearing Barry White in my head while talking with a shrink who makes me think of a theme song for my life (circus music). And then I thought of what makes up a Quirkyalone and how I embody so much within this category of single people. As I learned in my Text and Discourse Analysis class waaaaaayyyy back in college, let�s take a look at the text and how I relate to each statement. �...we look for kindred spirits everywhere� Friends are more than people to wile away the time with until we find a significant other. Indeed, we have significant others.�This is why I have seven best girl friends. Each person has such fabulous and differing qualities that I can�t help but love them all so much and equally. The people I surround myself with are quality people, and I�ve been blessed enough to have such a quantity of them in my life. �...being alone is understood as a wellspring of feeling and experience... All those nights alone, traveling, going to movies alone�they bring insight.�I definitely spend a lot of time alone, and I�ve come to enjoy it. While unemployed, I spent quiet afternoons at the library, rollerbladed miles and miles of city streets without an MP3 player clouding my head, and created a lot of personal writings. Whereas, like most extroverts, I do thrive off of human contact, I understand that there�s something nice about being alone with your thoughts. �We would prefer to be alone with our own thoughts than with a less than perfect fit. We are almost constitutionally incapable of casual relationships.�Man-oh-man, did this call the kettle black. My theme seems to be that if you aren�t Mary-friggin�-Poppins with a penis, I move right along. I�ve dated several NGNWs (Nice Guy, Nothing Wrong), several guys that women looking for a ring would drool over, several fine guys with interesting things to say and pretty features to look at. Were my maa pushing for grandkids (thank you Jen for saving this responsibility from me), she�d smack me on my head for not taking up some of these offers. Like Mike Myers in So I Married an Axe Murderer, �she smells like soup,� is a good enough reason not to be coupled with someone else. �We are no less concerned with coupling than your average serial monogamist. Secretly, we are romantics, romantics of the highest order. We want a miracle. Out of millions we have to find the one who will understand.�I�ll admit it: My qualifications for a mate are quite high. Quite simply, I�m a heckuva catch, and any man lucky enough to snag me for the long-haul has got to be someone remarkable. I will not settle in any way, shape, or form. I will not be with someone who doesn�t make my heart flutter all funny, years later, despite the sags, the wrinkles, the thinning hair, and the diminishing ability to drunkly dance three nights a week. I hear others describe their mates, and I�m appalled. �Sweet, nice, friendly, and loyal,� are not the only qualities I�m looking for. Quite simply, if all of the adjectives can be used to describe Hambone, that�s not enough. I have enough friends and acquaintances who are �sweet, nice, friendly, and loyal�. This person has to add something more to my life, something that no one else can match. When I finally do decide to get married, you�ll know that he�s the world�s most awesome person, someone I cannot live my life without. �When we find a possible match, we verge on obsessive�or resist.�Oh my. Who me? My last real boyfriend is a perfect example of this resistance. I had been out of my five year relationship for several months when I was introduced to �Scott�. Scott was quite possibly the funniest person on earth, and there was quite a camaraderie there. He was as skeptical as I was, moving as slowly as I was, and in as much denial as I was. And then it happened. He whispered, �I love you,� as he drifted to sleep, and my eyes shot open in a panic. I should not, would not, could not, do not, will not, cannot-cannot-cannot love you. Not your brown eyes and mischievous smile. Not the way you squeeze me before going home each morning. Not the way you talk about the people you love. Not the way you can�t carry a tune and whistle along with songs in the car. Not the way you hold me close while dancing. Not the way everyone who�s ever met you absolutely adores you. I walked away. I moved to Chicago. I broke your heart, and mine broke when I got unreturned emails or phone calls, understanding what I did and how it can�t be undone. Life goes on. It always does. �And so, when my friend asks me if quirkyalones marry, I say yes. Do they have children? Yes again. And when she asks, is being a quirkyalone is a life sentence, I say yes, at the core, one is always quirkyalone.�Will I marry? Probably. But I know that it isn�t necessary for my vitality. I�ll be just as lively and happy and interested in life whether or not I find that perfect mate. Will I have kids? Probably. Whether they�ll live inside my uterus for nine months or involve paying lawyers to find me a kid, I don�t know. But any kids I have will be the luckiest ballerinas and buckaroos around. Is it a life sentence? ���Content. Cautious. ������Happy. Healthy. ���������Uncompromising. Upbeat. I certainly friggin hope so. Simply, I wouldn�t have it any other way.�
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Moving Day - 2008-02-15
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