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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

 

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Insert Spring Here

2003-04-19    8:36 p.m.
 
You wanna know the main difference between winter and summer?

I stop wearing a bra and start wearing underwear.

Yes, it’s true. And since many of you know me, I hope I gave your face a red tint while your mind flashes to count the number of times you saw me in a skirt and had no idea that underwear were probably no part of that equation.

Perverts.

Anyway, today’s weather was pretty nice, so I put on the Victoria’s Secret and walked to Whole Foods. Yes, I bought some hippe toothpaste. And because I didn’t want to disappoint, I bought some bulk spices for vegetarian curry stew and some hummus and pita for dinner this week.

After trekking back home with my organic treasures, I strapped on the rollerblades and headed towards the river, zipping through the city streets. No sooner did I hit the farthest distance from my house then did the clouds spread and reveal big tears. Suddenly the pedestrians moved at an even slower pace, taking up the entire sidewalk and spinning their brightly colored umbrellas at my eye level.

To avoid getting my eyes poked out or rusting out my blades’ bearings, I took to the street and speedy-speedy-ed my way home. By time I got to the last strip of outdoor bars by my house, the rain had let up and I was rolling slowly in the street safely towards oncoming traffic. And wouldn’t ya know that my rolled up shirt that bared my belly was enough to get a round of hoots.

[sigh]

A note to you men: Whooping at a passerby will likely only make her go by faster. “Can you point me in the direction of the closest VD clinic?” would be a better conversation starter than one, “Yeahhhh bay-bee!”

Now that we’ve got that out of the way...

This morning I called my dad. Only by morning, I actually mean afternoon. Because, as I put it to him, I celebrated his birthday last night. Five beers and four shots later, I did my drunken dance custom.

On the upside of celebrating my dad’s birthday with copious amount of alcohol, I think that I can complete a Viking Raid and have vocalized plans with Herbie and Holger to try this.

So, what’s on the scorecard for tonight? Celebrating my maa’s bithday, of course! I’ll be a little north of my house and need to start getting ready to leave. There’s a band called Joe and Mike that’s playing tonight. We’ll see how that goes...

Make two slightly older people’s days by sending birthday greetings. Dad and Maa both could use some email from friendly strangers.  



Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

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