Seriously it�s too cold to just go outside for the heck of it. If you�re venturing out, there had better be a destination -- preferably one with a heater and hot chocolate.

There�s this phenomenon that has been described by several Chicagoans as the �winter buddy� concept. The people here get a snuggle partner for the winter months, giving them someone to watch movies, eat home-cooked dinners, and make a little warmth with. Once the weather warms up a bit, everyone�s single again.

And because there�s no lovin� for this Joey right now, I�m understanding another reason why this �winter buddy� exists: to keep you from being too incredibly bored when it�s too damn cold to leave your apartment.

I would go to one the many clubs around my place, but I�m not drunk or desperate enough to go alone quite yet. That and I don�t feel like putting in the effort to drink the requisite few beers before shake-shake-shakin� my bootie.

Seriously, there�s only so much conversation that Hambone can stand. Before you know it, I�ll be walking him on a leash or some other nonsense like that. [snicker, snicker]

So, where does one get friends?

School. Work. Common activities. Friends-of-friends.

Education isn�t going to happen. Not only am I not a resident of the state (verrrry high tuition bills at the community college), but I have no schedule that I�m willing to rearrange.

Speaking of that schedule, I have no money-maker yet. If they tell me that I have to man the fryer on the third shift, golly gee that�s where I�ll be!

Activities? It�s too damn cold. Okay, so it isn�t *that* cold when you�re rollerblading. But for the past week there�s been a large amount of snow on the sidewalks and roads. Snow means ice, and ice means rock salt. It�s too dangerous to roll at rocket speed and hit a patch of ice. Because of my joblessness, I have no insurance to fix myself up either.

And as far as meeting people through my friends... Wait... That would require friends, right?

Herbie is the greatest neighbor I�ve ever had. We talk often, hang out occasionally, and even leave the apartment once a week or so. There�s good conversation -- Something that Helga and Holger don�t have going for them. But between the three of them, I don�t want to be a pest. There�s only so much of me that I�d want to see too!

What�s the solution?

Call my buddies in Texas each time I get bored or lonely?

Nah. Get out the leash, Hammus. Mama�s taking you for another walk!�