I opened my mailbox, and me-oh-my check out the love!

Xeran snagged me the Office Space DVD and the book Kiss My Tiara from my Amazon wishlist. I�ve been reading the book, and my favorite line so far is in the chapter on the beauty myth: �...you�re the one with the pussy. What are you knocking yourself out for? Let �em get on their knees and beg.� Oh touch�! Beg, men -- Beg!

My German lover Chandler-B made me a very cool mix CD -- complete with a personalized cover and CD sticker. He threw in several of my favorite singers and a lot of new stuff I hadn�t heard. He even included a Britney remix and some thigh-quivering Justin! I�m loving it!

Thank you, thank you, thank you guys!

Getting these presents reminds me that a special someone�s birthday is coming up... I love sharing a birthday with someone I like so much!

No new news on CW3. She took one personal call this morning and mentioned how Not Very Helpful or Not Nice someone was to her. Since I answered three questions before I finished my breakfast, I know that beotch was NOT talking about me. She can sit her happy ass across the way from me, smile and nod, and not understand a word I�m saying, but don�t talk about me.

Yesterday�s entry was quite therapeutic. Also, when I got an email this morning from my 3rd line (the laid-back guy I can talk baseball with) saying that he wanted to have an hour-long unofficial annual review with us contractors, I was able to use all of the stuff I wrote up yesterday to jog my mind for things to bring up in the meeting. If CW3 is still around (seriously doubtful), I�ll have to think up a spin on that so don�t look catty or bitchy.

This means that I�ll have to focus on how my mentoring position turned into babysitting, thereby neglecting her complete ineptitude, lack of common sense, extreme skill deficiency, and bitchy little demeanor while taking 14 personal calls per day. Ya know, unless I can find a diplomatic way to work those in without coming across as Not Very Helpful and Not Nice.

I have this Word doc opened, and I�m typing my entry straight into it when CW3�s phone rings. She answers in her normal voice and then immediately reverts to her hushed whispers. (I can only assume that she doesn�t realize that she has caller ID on her phone�s screen...)

She starts with my name again, so I strain the ears.

And wouldn�t ya know it! The wench has the gall to tell whoever it is that she�s murmuring to that I give contradictory instructions, that I don�t explain things well, and that I�m Not Very Helpful and Not Nice. First off, if I gave confusing instructions, wouldn�t you ask for clarification?! And if I was truly Not Very Helpful and Not Nice, wouldn�t you just stop asking me things at all?

So here I go with the CYA (cover your ass) move, asking my second line to a closed-door meeting later on in the day. My tone will be, �Are there any problems that you�re aware of with my mentoring abilities, and what can you suggest to remedy the situation?� Asking for feedback will open the communication lines, and it�ll also let her know what�s going on without me coming across as a tattletale.

The truth is, I don�t want CW3 to quit and get to tell her contracting company how awful I was. There aren�t many big contracting firms out there, and I don�t want my good name tarnished because of all of the reasons I listed above. Shit, a general, �This just isn�t the right position for me,� works too. No need to take someone down with ya.

Jealous bitch.

I wonder if there�s a chapter in my book about bitch-ass coworkers and how to handle them... �