CCCC

T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

 

first entry    profile    email    guestbook    rings    older entries

 

Pensive Monday

2007-01-15    3:27 p.m.
 
Side note: Take a deep breath and don’t go off worrying about me, now. I didn’t get enough angst out during my teenaged years, and the time right now is breezing this through my brain. Writing this is better than writing free-verse poetry.

Have you ever stepped back for a moment and thought about how inconsequential and boring life can be? I’m talking about from a high level instead of the granular level.

We wake up, eat, excrete, interact, then go back to sleep, only to repeat it all again. Not much really changes. We might eat different things, but the result it the same: energy in and eventually energy out. We might have different dreams, but we’re still just recharging for the next day. We sit on the same couch while watching the same TV shows. Go to the same bars. Shop in the same malls. Run at the same gym. Attend the same schools. Work at the same job. On and on and on.

I’d go out of my way to say that with exception to the once-yearly vacation and the addition or subtraction of immediate family members, not much besides our interactions with others really and truly varies all that much.

I briefly considered how those interactions might set off a chain of events, but then I decided that even that isn’t all that significant. Does someone becoming a movie star vs. a doctor really affect my life? The death of someone’s grandma? A divorce that splits a family? Like the tree in the forest with no one around, can my ears actually hear a baby crying in Siberia?

When you really and truly affect the lives of maybe a few people around you, how can there be any significance in a world of nearly 7 billion?

Now add to it that any effect you have on someone is only temporary. In the end, a few people may be affected when you die, but that’s just temporary pain. Wives remarry. Children are born. Pay raises are given. Vacations are taken. Life goes on.

Merely filling time before we die, we cluck along, add to society in the ways demanded, fulfill our own obligations, and try not to hurt anyone else’s progress or miss an episode of Grey’s Anatomy.

This is life.

Going to the movies. Cooking dinner for our families. Speed walking through the neighborhood. Paying videogames.

And when you take into consideration that this is all really just pointless, you have to flip it around and say Fuck It. Since everything’s so pointless and doesn’t really and truly affect anyone else, I’m going to do whatever I damn well please.

I’ll avoid stepping on toes or neglecting my bills, but everything else is fair game. If I want to sing on the el, so be it. If I want to run in the rain, I can. If I want to drink a bottle of wine for dinner and drunk dial my friends on both coasts, they’d better answer the phone or at least appreciate the voicemails I leave.

And since I’m in a fuck-it kind of mood, I’m leaving work early. Have a good night, all. 



Miss something?

Moving Day - 2008-02-15
Working from Home is Glorious - 2008-02-13
Speaking in Tongues - 2008-02-07
I Have My Reasons - 2008-01-25
Got an Itch, Fix it, Shine it Up, Sing it Out - 2008-01-23

back one -- forward one

get notified when I update:
email:

hosted by DiaryLand.com