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T h e A d v e n t u r e s o f C h i c a g o J o

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Can My Eyes Now See into the Brain?

2004-03-26� � 4:12 p.m.
Two nights ago I attended a book reading and signing for a professor of mine from way back when I was in college. It was fun to see her book, listen to a few stories, and hear about what all she�d been up to since starting the book tour. I got my copy (for $10 more than Amazon�s price -- dammit!), and two days later I have only a few pages left.

After staying up late last night to finish the penultimate story, I went to take my contacts out. While walking to the bathroom, I gave my sleepy right eye a heavy rub.

A little juice in the case, swipe-pinch-pull, put it in the case, and twist it shut. The left contact came out without any issues.

However, when I got to the swipe-pinch-pull part for the right eye, there was no contact to be found. I immediately knew what happened: that heavy rub dislodged the lens and allowed it to float back into my brain.

A slight panic came over me.

A contact in the brain is no laughing matter. However, whenever I thought of those I�d call for reassurance, I knew there�d be laughter involved.

My parents would sleepily hand the phone to my brother, who would then laugh.

Sophie would curse me for waking her up at 12:30 in the morning, but she�d laugh before her return to snores.

Benito would certainly laugh, and he�d suggest that I call the fire department.

The fire department would then fine me $75 as they too laughed.

Luckily I relaxed, lifted my lid, shifted my eye around a bit, and eventually a sliver of plastic showed itself enough for me to grasp it, curse it, and then put it back in its case.



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