So there wasn�t really anything entertaining about grocery shopping. I wanted some Popsicles, so I bought two boxes of the sugarfree variety. Yeah they taste like frozen buttholes, but they have 23 calories each. And because they only have 23 calories, it�s okay if I eat six per day. You just can�t do that with the full-flavor variety and keep your girlish figure.

After buying the groceries I load up my backpack and distribute the weight in the two remaining bags, readying myself for a fairly easy walk home. Because it�s midnight, I take the well-lighted route home. This involves passing the strip of bars around my house. More specifically, this involves passing the strip of drunken people around my house.

�Hey -- You want some ice cream?�

For a moment I remembered all of that "Don't talk to strangers" and "Don't take candy from strangers" stuff, but I shrugged years of elementary school warnings and approached the truck full of partiers.

They had individually wrapped ice creams that they had just bought at Walgreens, so all was cool.

"Yeah, I'll take some ice cream."

The driver said that he had to hold it if I was going to eat it.

[shrug] Sure.

He leaned over the passenger and I took a bite of the bar.

He voiced his disappointment and said that he expected me to do something at least a little risqu� with it.

I gave him and his friends a wink and then put most of the bar in my mouth. Then, with them thinking that I was going to give one heckuva show, I took a HUGE bite, leaving him about half a nibble of ice cream on the stick.

I picked up my grocery bags and skipped back home with a car full of guys laughing that I had stealthily snagged myself some free ice cream.

Of course I then I went home and ate six Popsicles. �