This past Halloween I dressed up as Britney Spears. There were jokes about my blonde wig, $3 Wal-Mart tube top, and hipster jeans since being barefoot and pregnant would be more along the lines of the Britney as of late. Still, I endured, knowing that homegirl would one day see the light, remove the 160 pounds of dead weight, and reclaim her status as the ultimate pop princess.

When I got an email from my nearest and dearest pop culture-loving friend announcing that Britney is giving the old heave-ho to the man who gave disheveled douchebags around the world hope, I called a coworker over and held hands with her as we erupted in joyous squeals.

The day we�d been waiting for had finally come.

It�s now time for you to go get our girl

Love you long time,
Jo�